Why We Run Our Family Like a Business (And Why You Might Want To, Too)
The same tools that build great teams also build great families.
I'm not the "fun" guy. You probably gathered this already.
I gravitate towards systems, routines, and discipline.
Those descriptors are anything but "fun."
So when the topic of applying business and organizational principles to the family popped into my head, even I rolled my eyes.
"Really? 'Structuring' your family. That sounds so rigid, so robotic, so, so... cold!"
But... it works. And it works well.
And the key behind it is a set of tools we typically treat as "just for business."
But you know what they are? They're tools for coordination. They're tools for clarity. And they're tools for momentum.
Want an uncoordinated, unclear, and listless family? Stop reading here.
Want to apply some kick-ass techniques to your family experience? Cool. Read on, my friend.
Mission & Vision → A Shared North Star
Let's start "in the clouds."
Your family needs a North Star. You need something to stand for. You need a governing belief that can be used to guide decisions. Call this a "worldview" or a "belief system." Call it whatever you like. But you need something.
Too many families lack a shared identity. Lack a "this is who we are and how we approach things."
In our family, we have a set of these inspired by our faith. This is how we treat people. This is how we take responsibility. This is how we contribute to our community, both within our family and at large.
And we also use our shared weaknesses and struggles as a form of family identity.
For example, all of us Mondays have an obnoxious competitive streak. For some of us, we compete with ourselves, and for others, we compete with, well, anyone who will battle us. We are aware of this about our family, and we acknowledge it as a defining characteristic of who we are. We also discuss the need to work on it!
In the end, these shared beliefs, values, and struggles become the ligaments holding the family "body" together.
All Hands Meetings → Family Meetings
Over the last 15 years, the fact that we do a weekly family meeting has been a topic of many jokes amongst our friends and family.
But they work!
I wrote about this topic more than two years ago, but here's a quick look at the weekly agenda:
Roll-call - The kids loved to do this loudly, especially when they were little. Not so much as teens.
Atta Boy/Atta Girl - Everyone goes around and highlights something they noticed or appreciated about a family member from the last week.
Weekly Look Ahead - We pull out our calendars and walk through the week, day by day. Can't recall ever, in the history of our meetings, not revealing at least one thing in this process that would have caused heartache later in the week if not resolved.
Chore Review & Allowance Distribution - The kids must answer for their chore performance and, if they meet the requirements, receive their weekly allowance.
Want to apply this concept to your family? Here's the full post, including in-depth descriptions of each section of the meeting.
Financial Reporting → An Active Family Budget
We've all heard the stats: financial issues are among the most contentious in a family and often a key contributor to a failed marriage.
Having a family budget and maintaining it sufficiently is "cheap insurance" against such failure.
There is certainly no lack of resources available.
Our formula is super-simple:
We use YNAB as our budgeting "platform." Great website, great app. There is a small annual fee, but I've found this to be such a time-saving tool that the yearly fee pales in comparison to the benefit. It takes a few hours to complete the one-time setup and linking of your various accounts.
My wife and I spend 10-15 minutes a week categorizing the purchases that automatically import from our accounts.
We then spend 30-45 minutes a month reviewing the prior month and allocating our budget to the following month.
Sometimes, these monthly meetings are strained, especially when things are "tight." However, we leave the meeting with honest insight into our financial situation and a plan to move forward. That's the important thing.
Retreats → Vacations
Getting away with your team and/or key executives is often a refreshing re-set. Quality time together, especially away from the pressures of daily life, can help smooth out some bumps and bring the team closer together.
And that's why regular vacations, family and spousal, are critical.
They don't have to be fancy or expensive. They just need to be "somewhere else" and long enough to clear the cache of our brains for a bit.
Some view trips and time away as a luxury. And sure, they can be. But if family health is a priority, these "retreats" are non-negotiable.
These tools aren't about control. They're about freedom.
They create margin. Peace. Momentum.
And they reduce the emotional tax of constant reactive decision-making.
My challenge to you: try just one of these tools this summer.
You might be surprised at how much peace and progress a little structure brings.
Thanks for reading this post. I appreciate you. In return, please share this with those you know who may be interested.
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Things I’ve Enjoyed Lately: When I was looking for an AI note-taking tool last year, I tried a few. Many are built for virtual meetings, but few (especially a year ago) could also accommodate in-person meetings. I landed on Fireflies, and it's now used throughout our entire management team. Incredible accuracy, excellent post-meeting summaries, and downloading transcripts and then uploading them to AI have made a massive difference in my AI chat quality when the topic at hand was covered in a meeting. I know ChatGPT and other AI platforms are adding meeting recording and, soon, hardware devices. But for now, Fireflies is a tool I can't do without.