A Letter to My Son

Five things I want you to know as you prepare for your next adventure.

Well, son, we’re getting close, aren’t we?

You’re about to leave the proverbial nest. The college applications are complete, high school is halfway over, and you have nothing but opportunity before you.

But before you leave, I’m going to do a very “Dad” thing and give you some advice.

I know, I know. It’s a bit annoying. And you may hear these things, roll your eyes a bit, and dismiss them. And that’s okay. In fact, when I was your age, there was NO way I would have taken my father’s advice to heart.

Alas, I’d be remiss in not mentioning these things. And perhaps you’ll tuck them away and come back to them over the next number of years.

But one last thing before we start. I want to thank you. Thank you for being an incredible son. Thank you for your unwavering love and care for your family. Thank you for truly being that rare individual who brings positive vibes to nearly every interaction. Thank you for letting me raise you for the last 17 years. It’s been an honor and a privilege.

So here, son, are the things I wish I would have known at your age.

First, let’s talk partners. I’m talking about two major partners you’ll have in your life: your future wife and your future business partners. (Entrepreneurship is in your blood, and I suspect you’ll get there one day…) I know it’s highly unromantic to combine the two, but hear me out.

Both will dramatically influence your future. Both will have the ability to make waking in the morning a joy or a nightmare. Both will have a huge impact on your financial well-being. Both will be in a position to build you up or tear you down, help you rise to your best, or reduce you to a baseless sinner.

And let’s be honest, if things go south, both are a massive pain to break free from.

So choose wisely. And even though you’ll use an assortment of factors to determine if they’re “the one”, first and foremost, make sure you’re grounded in the same mission. For your marriage, that will be your religious commitment, what you want for your future family, and how you define contentment. For your business partner, that will be your ethics, what each of your roles will be, and the vision of the future.

Next, let’s talk fear. We all have it, and it shapes our actions dramatically, does it not? It can be motivating, or it can be paralyzing. It can cause you to run faster than you’ve ever run before or freeze in your tracks, unable to move in any direction.

And it has a twin: discomfort. It’s hard to tell the two apart sometimes. A lot of the time, the fear comes from knowing discomfort is ahead.

But you need to hit the fear head-on. Like a wedge-breaker on the kick-off team, you need to blow the fear up. And the only way to do that is to be in the game, run as fast as you can downfield, and know that each time you break the wedge, it will hurt, but the fear will become less.

So let me encourage you to ship. To produce. To create. To try. To step out. To welcome discomfort. To have awkward conversations. To try what you’re not good at. To confront with love. To ignore the trolls.

If you decide not to learn this skill - facing down fear - then you’ll live a half-full life. You’ll have regrets, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll grow to hate yourself for being a coward. And there’s no worse pain than that.

Now, on ideas and execution.

As Gary Vee would say, “Ideas don’t mean [crap].” Everyone has them; most fall in the huge category of “could be good, could be bad.” And you’ll certainly have a ton of “great” ideas. Goes along with confidence like yours; you’ll think most of your ideas are “great.”

But really, it’s about execution. And by execution I mean testing your idea and then turning your idea into a plan of action. No matter if it’s an idea for a business, an initiative for a non-profit or service group, or a personal goal, you HAVE TO test it to be sure it’s a good idea and then put together a clear, simple, step-by-step action plan.

Sure, this may sound like a lot to do before starting, but remember, your test comes first. And another way to look at the test phase is as the “get-out-there-and-start-doing-it” phase. That’s right; if you have an idea, start doing it. And if your test confirms it will work, then put together a plan. And then throw yourself 100% into working your plan and adjusting along the way.

This brings me to my fourth point and what, in my opinion, is one of the most important skills for you to develop: the ability to sell.

You were born with some wonderful traits that make a great salesperson: you’re well-spoken, personable, relatable, and engaging. You inherited your mother’s extroversion, and I’m jealous!

Alas, you must now learn the craft of selling.

Start with this: listen more than you talk. And when you have a conversation, even the most benign, try to get inside the other person’s head. Try to figure out not only what they’re saying but why they’re saying it, why they’re using the tone of voice and body language they’re using, and why they’re choosing the specific words and phrases they’re using.

After you learn to listen, learn to initiate and respond with questions. Don’t assume you know anything about what the other person needs, but instead, ask very specifically and then go back to listening.

After you develop impeccable question-asking skills, then practice. Get a job selling anything to anyone, anywhere. It’s like anything else, practice will make you better. So do it, get a job selling, and learn everything you can about the craft.

One day, you’ll sell a woman on marrying you, a mentor on coaching you, a friend on growing with you, an investor on funding you, a bank on lending to you, a business partner on joining you, an employee on believing you, a customer on trusting you. Yes, you’ll be selling for the rest of your life, so you better damn well learn how to do it.

And my final point, Son?

Much like any other investment, growing your network follows the law of accelerating return. What I mean is that the earlier you start building your network, the earlier you’ll benefit from it, and this web of connections will snowball for as long as you nurture those relationships. Furthermore, growing and nurturing your network becomes more challenging as you get older. Things like kids and running a business get in the way.

So start building your network now, when you’re young and have quite a bit of time to devote to it. Be a joiner. Attend meetings, events, conferences, and speaking engagements. Engage on social media and grow your connections.

If you do this, you’ll find, ten years from now, that these relationships have paid off handsomely and your network is impressive.

So there you go, young man. Those are the five most important pieces of advice I could give to you. There were a few that didn’t make the list, either because they’re obvious or not quite as important. But start with these, and you’ll be well on your way to success.

I’d love it if a few more folks read this newsletter. Might you consider forwarding it to someone you think might benefit from it?

I’d love a follow over on X (Twitter) and Linkedin, as I post things there that are either too brief for the newsletter or are just entertaining things I come up with over a responsibly-sized serving of Blanton’s.