It Didn't Have to End Like This

Something worth learning from a life that ended tragically.

This is going to be a short post. For a few reasons.

First, the last few days have left me, quite frankly, out of mental fuel. It’s just been a slog.

Second, what I have to say is simple but, for me, has to be said.

To orient the conversation: my father died about a week ago.

I say “about” because he was alone and wasn’t found for a while.

I’d love nothing more than to do what I’ve seen so many of my contemporaries do upon the passing of their father: write a “fitting tribute” to “an incredible dad” who “made me who I am.”

Alas, if I were to write a truly fitting tribute, it would cause you to not like the man. And there’s no point in that.

But as I spent the last week reflecting on his passing, I couldn’t help but come away with a compelling lesson I learned from him: the importance of finishing our jobs as parents.

To my recollection, my father was great when I was young. Loving, kind, engaging, funny as all get out. Then, sometime in the early to mid-90s, it all changed.

Fast forward 30 years, and he was left with only a single family member, his devoted brother, who had any contact with him. Not his three kids. Not his 11 grandkids. Not his 2 great-grandkids.

What a terrible legacy. What a sad way to end.

And that’s my challenge for you and me. To not let it end this way. To finish our job as parents all the way through adulthood.

I’ll admit, there are times when I think my job as a parent will be mostly over when my youngest leaves the house. And sure, things will be different.

But I’m beginning to see that this next phase of parenting isn’t any less meaningful, or even less impactful. It’s just different. And it’s an opportunity.

An opportunity to support, encourage, be a trusted sidekick, offer advice (only when asked), and simply love unconditionally. That’s the gift I want to give my kids, and their kids. That’s the legacy I want to leave.

So if anyone out there wants to join me in finding the smallest amount of good from such a tragic life, it’s this: let’s all be better for the next generation.

Thank you for reading.

Back to business next week.

My sister and I launched a podcast for sub-$20M business owners and operators. Episode 8 is out!

We’d be honored if you’d give it a listen! You can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whatever platform you prefer!

Things He Enjoyed, Always: A summer night Vin Scully radio broadcast of his beloved Dodgers, a cool spring morning bass fishing on Don Pedro Reservoir, The Carpenters, making English Toffee (before it was a business), helping a down and out neighbor, The Sound of Music, his mother, to the end.